Thema Bryant’s list of artists is quite impressive.
By 2023 he is the President of the American Psychological Association. Bryant is a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University where he directs the Culture and Trauma Research Laboratory.
Prior to that, she was the coordinator of Princeton’s University’s SHARE program, which provides programs and services to combat sexual assault and harassment.
And before that he received his doctorate in psychology from Duke University and did his medical training at Harvard Medical Center.
His professional activities are not the only thing that interests him.
She also likes to dance. They listen to and write spoken poetry. And almost every week he finds time to call his best friend of 30 years who lives across the country.
“It’s time for me to give up false ideas, or false choices, which we believe that in order for things to go well I have to leave alone,” he says.
CNBC Make It spoke with Bryant about the importance of balancing productivity, your mental health, having close friends — and how to do it.
The interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
‘Performance is not always a sign of your health or well-being’
Aditi Shrikant, CNBC Make This: What are some common misconceptions about mental health care?
Bryant: A common misconception is that “if I try not to think about it I’ll get over it.” Suppression doesn’t really work. It can work in the short term, which I think is why people decide to say “I’m done and I don’t want to talk.” But when we have difficult experiences in life and avoid them, they can manifest in other ways.
It can manifest and affect our sleep. It can be seen in our parenting. Prevention is not the same as cure.
The second misconception is that “busy” or “doing” is the same thing as “healed” or “wellness” or “whole.” Many people are fooled by this because they associate poor performance with depression and the inability to get out of bed, as it appears to some people.
But for some people, they can throw themselves into their work. They can be hardworking or perfectionists. They feel like they have something to prove but they don’t feel good enough.
Your business or productivity is not an indicator of your health or well-being.
‘You want to do it on purpose. Wishing you a long life in your success’
Shrikant: At the same time, it is important and necessary to be productive in your work. How do you balance being successful at work and taking care of your mental health?
Bryant: Thinking about your longevity and sustainability. Sometimes we are so driven to accumulate so much, or so promoted that we don’t care about our future.
It is the setting of fatigue. It is the system of our bodies that has failed us. Sometimes we become physically or emotionally unable to continue the journey.
You want to be intentional and not just want some temporary success where you’re pulling all-nighters to turn in that amazing report tomorrow. You want longevity in your success.
Sometimes we are so driven to accumulate so much, or so promoted that we don’t care about our future.
Think: “How can I create a movement that I can live without losing my life where I have given everything, my time, my energy, my thoughts. Where I have neglected my health or my relationship.”
I would like to point out that for some people this is not just about being fancy. For some people trying to pay the rent they are in survival mode.
Even those who are stretched, you are dependent on you and you have a family dependent on you and if we put ourselves in a hole it will not work in the long run. It is important to find small ways or short ways to create care rituals.
Shrikant: What is an example of a short ritual that anyone can do?
Bryant: It can be easier if you wake up in the morning. Try to get up before you wake up.
When I set my alarm to get out of bed, I’ve already started my day feeling anxious. Give yourself a few minutes in the morning and decide what your morning ritual will be.
It could be a podcast. Maybe then I’ll wake up and take a long shower. What things feed you?
Another thing that is often overlooked is social care.
Having good friends and good relationships and good relationships in your family or work colleagues, these are the things that help us and remind us that we are alive, that we are not just robots or things or workers.
This can put breath into our lives and love and compassion into our lives.
‘When it comes to friends, you can think about the quality of it compared to the quantity’
Shrikant: Friendships are often relationships that fall by the wayside when people start having children or need to care for elderly parents. How do you make friends when you’re so busy?
Bryant: For people who are very busy or have many responsibilities, when it comes to friendships, you can consider quality over quantity.
I may be past the point of my life where I can talk to you on the phone for hours while watching TV. We don’t get together very often, but when we do connect it’s real, it’s connected, it shows.
It is very healing to feel that you are recognized by someone and accepted and cared for, for who you are. Many times in your lives, you have to do or have different responsibilities. I exhale.
It is a gift to our nervous system when we have someone we feel at home with.
I would also suggest that you talk to the person about your schedule. I think sometimes we just think or we don’t communicate. This is where relationships can fail because the person thinks you are completely gone or don’t care about them. But you really care.
My best friends are all over the country. He lives in Philadelphia and I live in Los Angeles. We don’t go somewhere together every week but when we do talk it’s healthy.
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